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20 April 2010 @ 02:49 pm
brain on strike  
My brain always, always does this when we start nearing the end of the semester: it just--balks, and won't do anything of use. How many things did I have to do yesterday? A LOT. What did I do instead? Watched the last three episodes of S3 Slings & Arrows. Again. (And I teared up at the Bolivians, with their metal sheets and rain sticks making up the storm, because I always do. Because that is what it's about. Their storm, Geoffrey's tempest--magic doesn't need much.)

And over the weekend, when I also could have been doing some of the many things I need to do, I spent a whole day reading Those Who Hunt the Night by Barbara Hambly. And nearly laughing myself off the edge of my bed, on occasion, because apparently I am incredibly amused by snarky, snobbish, aristocratic Spanish vampires. What. (Also: layers. Oh, London, I love the way you do that--all your pockets and hidden places.)

This is not helping me.

Also, I would make a terrible artist--not enough focus--but it doesn't stop me from wanting to create art. (Er. In a very loose, "I made this" kind of way. Not, you know, Art. I have no pretensions to that.) I feel sort of empty, brain-wise and story-wise, and I just want to read and look at and listen to things until I'm filled up again. I want to throw myself into something I love, which is probably why I've been nibbling at the edges of that old story lately. I miss loving things--or no, I miss having something of mine to love.

But I should at least try to be responsible. *sigh*
viomisehuntviomisehunt on April 20th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
Pep talk
I work at my "craft". Don't let any false modesty keep you from practicing, developing, polishing your CRAFT.
Whether your craft is percieved as art or not: that is in the Eye of the Beholder. You'll never find out if you are an artist or a craftsperson if you give up on a project.

Take a day off, a month off if you need it, then start fresh.

I make a terrible working "artist" as I'm rubbish at working seriously on my craft without the treat of a deadline. Don't know if I could, like Jo Rowlings, push a pram to the coffee shop every day and just write. For one thing, I'd probably go to coffee shop at the book store; I'd probably take my lap top, and I'd probably do all those other things I usually do instead of focusing on my art...you get my drift?

Ahhh-- I wonder if those "How Clean Is your House" ladies have advice for organizing the busy, wondering brain....(Wink)

tempestsarekind: typewritertempestsarekind on April 21st, 2010 01:00 am (UTC)
Re: Pep talk
Heh. I could use someone to come in and clean out/reorganize my brain! If only...

Thanks for the pep talk; I appreciate it! It's hard to find time to write, because of grad school--which is why I put more pressure on those few occasions when I do find time, probably. If I had more free time to practice writing, I probably wouldn't get so dejected when I had an off day.

And yes, I am ace at finding distractions! Though I've never really been able to write in public spaces anyway; I'm envious of people who can go to coffee shops and write (or grade papers, for that matter).
pink for pterodactylsignificantowl on April 21st, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
oh, I hear you! I need someone to kick me to get back to writing original like I should. (hm, maybe we should pick a week, have a kickathon? see just how much art we can create?)

(or, you know, loll about and read anon memes instead. WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS WHY WHY.)
tempestsarekind: books and flowerstempestsarekind on April 21st, 2010 01:33 am (UTC)
Hmm, a kickathon. I rather like that idea! (Provided that I don't freak out and clam up even more, which is always a possibility with me. But no, I think it's a good idea all the same.)

Anon memes scare me slightly. Instead I've been looking at people's tumblr accounts, which eats time.
pink for pterodactylsignificantowl on April 23rd, 2010 01:36 am (UTC)
No clamming allowed! The lower key the better, probably? Just us or us + PoT girls?

I knooooow, they are horrible places. But so trainwrecky! And then the other day someone recced something of mine on there, so now of course I can't look away!
tempestsarekind: typewritertempestsarekind on April 23rd, 2010 02:49 am (UTC)
Either way works for me--do you have a preference? (I'm not entirely sure what happens in a kickathon, so I defer to you.) But in either case, low keys are good keys, yes. :)
looking through the fishbowlinanaquarium on April 23rd, 2010 08:03 pm (UTC)
I was thinking something like a mini concentrated wrisoumfu - daily writing expectations, checkins, motivators, etc. I'll set it up at pot, we'll see how it goes! Thoughts on when is best for you? Anytime here in the next couple of weeks is good for me.
tempestsarekind: books and flowerstempestsarekind on April 23rd, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC)
I think any time in the next few weeks should work for me, too. Toward the end of May I have a dissertation chapter due, but if they're not *really* big daily expectations, the two things should coexist just fine.
Gileonnen: You and Igileonnen on April 21st, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC)
This thing you say? It is so true for me. Ugh.

I do think you have the ability to create truly amazing art--sensitive, informed, and infused with all of the love that wells in you when you speak of beautiful things.

I also think I'll try to get my hands on this book.
tempestsarekind: freema reading is sexytempestsarekind on April 21st, 2010 08:26 pm (UTC)
I don't know about yours, but my brain is very silly. Clearly, it would make much more sense to do the things I have to do, and then take a proper break. But no. Instead, anything that looks like work just slides off the surface.

Thank you! I just don't know, which is the frustrating part: there are days when I think, "I could write a novel someday," and days when I think that it's completely impossible and I should stop inflicting my dreadful writing on the world, and stop setting myself up for heartbreak into the bargain. And I don't know which voice to listen to.

The cover of Those Who Hunt the Night is ridiculously awful! And the book has maybe a touch more description than I tend to like (for some reason it yanks me out of a story when someone tells me the same things about a person's appearance too often). But the hero confirms his suspicions that he's talking to a vampire by pinpointing the sixteenth-century elements of his accent, so clearly I had no choice. :)
Valancy: Thoughtfulvalancy_s on April 21st, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)

Sorry, the strength of my commiseration required capslocks. O seminar papers due so soon, why am I on LJ instead of writing you?
tempestsarekind: typewritertempestsarekind on April 21st, 2010 08:28 pm (UTC)
Capslock is a time-honored tradition, especially around these parts!

Good luck with your seminar papers! I have a dissertation chapter supposedly due in May, but I can't seem to think that far ahead, with teaching and grading still in the way.