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28 July 2012 @ 02:20 pm
feeeeeelings.  
So I managed to wallop myself in the face with Amy Pond feelings the other day when I stumbled across a GIF set of her, Rory, and Eleven in the last scene of the most recent Christmas special, when she asks Eleven if he'll stay for dinner. Because oh, seeing it broken down into discrete bits made it all so much clearer: the way she tosses off the invitation like it doesn't mean much at all - and then the way it's as if she's angry and annoyed at him for making her spell it out, that they always set a place for him, because it's Christmas, you moron. And that is *so* Amy: she cares so much about her boys, and she's so bad at *telling* them rather than showing them. Over and over again - like calling Rory "stupid face," or yelling at him to shut up when she's heartbroken about the Doctor's plan to erase himself from the universe (and I love Rory so much in that moment for *getting* Amy, and hugging her instead of shrinking back from the anger in her voice that was never really meant for him; and that is part of why I ship them when I am not usually overcome with shippy feelings, canon ships or not), or when she tells someone else just what the Doctor has meant to her, in "The God Complex," but then hurriedly asks that person to keep it a secret, because she'd hate it if the Doctor ever heard.

Oh, Amelia Jessica Pond. I do love you.


And...okay. As much as I think season 6 is messy and not planned out, or at least not *fleshed* out, as much as it ought to be, and as much as a part of me wants to see Amy address her feelings about Melody in some more overt way, part of me - maybe the larger part, depending on the day - thinks that this would actually be wrong for Amy, which is why that line she has at the end of "The God Complex" breaks my heart: "If you bump into my daughter, tell her to visit her old mum sometime." Because it's the only thing she *can* say, in a way, the only thing she knows how to say - and it's humor and forgiveness and sorrow all at once.

And the way she says that her daughter is "fine" to Madame Kovarian, all steel and anger, is complicated and strange, because of course River *isn't* fine, but she's a survivor, and she's battered and kicked some sort of valuable, River-shaped place in the universe into existence by the time Amy meets her, before she was ever born. And sometimes even time travel can't fix things, but you pick up what you're left with, and you hold on tightly to that - she's fine - and live from there. When I step back from the season, I can see holes, but I don't know what I think would fill them and still be in keeping with the way Amy expresses emotion more generally. She has flashes where she rejects the Doctor - "Then what is the point of you?" in "Amy's Choice," or the way she doesn't even want him to touch her at the end of "A Good Man Goes to War," although even there she acknowledges that she knows it wasn't his fault, or most notably "The Girl Who Waited," although it's *also* worth noting that it takes years of abandonment for her to get to that point - but the bedrock of her relationship with him is belief. When River asks Amy if the Doctor is worth it, in "Let's Kill Hitler," she doesn't hesitate for a second. (Just like in season 5: "Was it worth it?" "Shut up, of course it was.") So she's not likely to blame him, or rail at him, even if his failure breaks her heart. Nor is she likely to pour out her feelings of loss, not when she handles the potential loss of the Doctor in s5 with, "Are you all right? Well, shut up then!" (At least not more than she does over the phone, in the prequel to LKH, and even there she's starting off with a joke, protecting herself.) I could wish for a scene where *Rory* gets a chance to react to the loss of his daughter - I do wish for that - or maybe a scene where the Doctor acknowledges that loss more effectively, because the end of "A Good Man Goes to War," when he learns who River really is, is the Doctor at his giddy, thoughtless worst, because he's just been given this incredible gift, in the long view - Melody grows up to be River; she's not lost forever, or dead, or broken, and he's already been through the worst in his relationship with River, so it's actually a bit like cheating - but her parents are still right in the maelstrom of grief, and he utterly fails to see that. But from Amy? After seeing the season as a whole, I'm not sure that I actually need anything from her that I don't already have, and I wonder if I'm reacting more to the lack of an *expected* scene than to the lack of a necessary one.

(Edited to add link to GIF set: http://marriedinspace.tumblr.com/post/28164312888/happy-crying-humany-wumany )
 
 
 
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tempestsarekind: rory and amytempestsarekind on July 28th, 2012 01:43 am (UTC)
Yeah. There's actually a lot that I really like about the basic *idea* of the Ponds' lives - that they don't get to raise Melody from babyhood, but because time can be rewritten, they still get to care for her as Mels, without knowing it, for a much longer period of time than her absence; that River stops in and visits her parents when she can. But there are definitely parts where the execution falls flat.

And all of that is contingent on what happens to the Ponds when they leave, because if it's bad, I will not deal well. At all. (I carry TV grudges.)
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tempestsarekind: don't get clever in latin! [donna]tempestsarekind on July 28th, 2012 01:50 am (UTC)
Oh GOODNESS yes! I didn't even let myself get really attached to Donna, even though I *love* her, because I was still mad about Martha and just *knew* Donna was going to get some crappy ending thanks to Russell's Tragedy Focus.

Resist, Moffat! These are not good footsteps to be following!
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tempestsarekind: ten has a secrettempestsarekind on July 28th, 2012 02:09 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, David keeps making these comments about how badly the Doctor is treating Martha, bless him! Sometimes I really wish Martha could meet Eleven, even once, because he would be *nice* to her and maybe they could actually have closure, instead of whatever weird awkward thing is going on with them in the Sontaran episodes in season 4. *sigh*

I just pretend like Martha/Mickey got rewritten when Eleven rebooted the universe, to be honest. Because...they never even spoke to each other ONCE in canon before that scene, so...no. Not how romance works, especially when one half of the pairing was kind of ENGAGED to another dude and all.

she's SPESHUL because she has....a little Timelord in her?

Ugh, I HATED that so much! Donna was brilliantly special all season because she was Donna Freaking Noble, and to cap it off with that offensive nonsense was just horrible. Ew ew ew. And the mindwiping... *shudder*
harder, harder, hardest; i am the artist: dr who -- martha/eleven | regretsradiantbaby on August 8th, 2012 10:06 am (UTC)
Sometimes I really wish Martha could meet Eleven, even once, because he would be *nice* to her and maybe they could actually have closure, instead of whatever weird awkward thing is going on with them in the Sontaran episodes in season 4. *sigh*

Amen to that. When I get over this writer's block, fic will happen in that regard.
tempestsarekind: martha jones is a startempestsarekind on August 8th, 2012 03:30 pm (UTC)
Ooh, exciting! Yes, I suppose there is always fic, at least.
harder, harder, hardest; i am the artist: dr who -- amy | perseus [v&td]radiantbaby on August 8th, 2012 10:05 am (UTC)
You've summed up a lot of what I love about Amy (and a lot of people seem to hate). I love that she doesn't express her feelings perfectly and that she's a study in repression due to her abandonment issues. I think it is interesting to see a character like that on television because it is something we don't see often and it feels quite realistic and organic considering what her character has been through (which is also awesome because Doctor Who has usually never been so good with dealing with the emotional repercussions of one's experiences).

Oh, Amy. <3
tempestsarekind: a sort of fairytaletempestsarekind on August 8th, 2012 03:41 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I feel like a lot of discussion about Amy turns into some RTD-vs-Moffat thing, where Moffat doesn't care about emotions and real feelings, and only cares about the intricate timey-wimey plots. And it's not that Moffat is perfect, certainly not, but the way he writes Amy makes a lot of sense to me. As you point out, she's got abandonment issues, and even in the rebooted universe, her biggest fear is that the Doctor won't come for her. And I *like* that Amy reacts to things the way she does: she's not completely comfortable with expressing emotion in overt ways, and that's interesting to me, because it's so closely linked to the way she grew up (or remembers growing up).